Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Rage Against Florence + The Machine by Unlucky Fried Kitten (new album)

Track List

  1. The Seventies
  2. Alice Glass (she's my best friend)
  3. CJD
  4. Shop in The Precinct
  5. The Horror at the Belvedere Hotel
  6. Rage Against Florence + the Machine
  7. Little Things That Happen All The Time
  8. Piano Lessons Are Cancelled for Mary-Jane
  9. Hello Richie
  10. Welcome To Gravesend
  11. A Snapshot of Life
  12. My Ridiculous Neighbour

    So, this is the new Unlucky Fried Kitten album entitled RAGE AGAINST FLORENCE + THE MACHINE.  Here's how to get it. You can go to my PayPal button at the start of this blog (an earlier post) and just pay £5.00 which will include post and packing. Or I can just give you my e-mail for my PayPal and do it that way.  £5.00 is not a great deal of money (see my list below for things you can get for £5.00) For anyone purchasing in the Maidstone and Medway area it'll just be free delivery by hand, put through your letterbox. Instead of post and packaging it will be petrol and packaging. You get me? 

    Just look at it like I am playing Santa, but with a CD, and instead of a sleigh I am careering around Kent in a Sierra Azura. If you haven't got PayPal just pay me a fiver when I deliver

    Things You Can Buy For £5.00

    • 1.25 pints of premium lager
    • 5 x Twin-Pack Mars Bar Duo Bar (85g)
    • 1.89% of a 15w energy bulb
    • A signed copy of Katie Price's new autobiography
    • A hamster wheel
    • I'm bored now

      As an added incentive to make you buy this ground-breaking concept album (the concept being that I made it and you buy it) evey purchaser...yes...EACH & EVERY PURCHASER will be featured in a song on the NEXT album. How big your mention is depends on how many albums I sell. If I sell 50 to 60 copies, as estimated, you'll probably get an entire line in the song. If I sell about 5 copies you'll more than likely get your own verse. I've sold ONE copy so far, so, as it stands, that purchaser, if I sell no more, will have a whole song about him. (though my Mum did say she's gonna buy a copy)

      All buyers get listed on this blog too, with some wacky line written for them. You know, something like, if I was the buyer it might be something like 'Andy Fraser...the atomic Laser' and if, say, Jeremy Kyle buys one, it might be 'Jeremy Kyle...play the album and smile'  You got me?

      That's about it really except for a few tech notes about the album. 

      • all music by myself
      • all lyrics by myself
      • music recorded at Strangeways
      • Live vocal done at The Hub, (which is Ben Copland's studio...him behind fab electronica band Mooli)
      • Oh yeah, forgot to say, vocal was recorded in one live take cos I wanted it to come across as I would do it live. That's why the tracks all run into one cos I wanted it to be like a live show where my songs are usually met with, not wild applause but usually, a deafening wall of bewilderment and silence. 
      • my photos but art/covers arranged by Graham Semark
      • CD duplificated , duplified, duplimacated , copied at Cyclone in Medway City Estate

        I'll be making one more album which I'm half way through writing and it will be available in a few months. Then that's it. Not even gonna write any more songs. Getting rid of all my gear and buying my own little log-cabin. Throwing all my songbooks away, maybe into the river, from a bridge, to be like David Essex throwing his school-books away in Stardust. Or was it in That'll Be The Day?

        That's it then, fab people. I don't think I've missed anything. I'll be ruthlessly honest now...if I can sell 100 copies of this album I'll be a happy bunny
        Probberly a French Angora
        No, let's make it a German Dwarf Lop...they are so cute

        I always spell probably like that...for comic effect

        I hope the PayPal button works...let me know if there are any difficulties. 
        Don't forget that you can revisit this blog at any time to laugh at the low amount of CD's I've sold...3 or 4 lonely little names with their own wacky little one-liners. Sad...but with an air of ironic juvenile elitism

        Oh, and I might add the lyrics to this blog...if anyone can be bothered to request it

        See ya 

        Unlucky Fried Kitten

      • Oh...one more thing...don't forget that the 'UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN PRESENT LOSERVILLE.COM' album is still available for the same remarkable price of £5.00 including postage and whatsnaming


        Here's a wonderful review from Lawrence Burton who lives in Texas. We met in the 80's as he explains in the review. I love the review, not just because it flatters my little creation, but also for it's majestic writing style



  1. Ann Morgan Ann Morgan, mythological Gorgon

  2. Mark Woodroffe-Hill he's the Cool on the Hill and he speaks of The Hammers with their footballing skill(s)

  3. In a world filled with prisms and various hues I have sold a cd to film-maker Josh Hughes

  4. Jiffy Bags bulging with songs what I wrote and I'm sending a copy to Mr Rew Oate(s)

  5. Cliff Etherington ordered Unlucky Fried Kitten and I'm packing it up by my own fair mitten

  6. Ann Morgan bought 4 so I'm naming her frice, thanks for the support, it's exceedingly nice

  7. Great support from Lawrence Burton in Texas behind the American Curtain

  8. Paul Taylor Paul Taylor I'm posting his copy in a Bradfordian Mailer

  9. Posting to Wales seems completely insane, but it's travelling fast to Ann Morgan (again)

  10. Paul Wicks in Park Wood, that's a lot of PW's your album is coming and I hope it don't trouble you

  11. Mister Paul Woodard, as I live and breathe, thanks for support, see you soon, I believe

  12. Ann Morgan Ann Morgan, she tinkles the organ ;)

  13. Just a quick message to Paul Martin Gibbons, your Jiffy Bag will be covered in ribbons

  14. a notification from the esteemed Hans Newbould reveals that he has paid me in currency of gold

  15. Louise May was nice and she bought a CD, I hope she's ok with songs written by me

  16. Mark Woodroffe-Hill bought another new copy, I hope that he likes it and doesn't get stroppy

  17. Paul Wratten, our landlord, though we call him Rats, has bought a new album by the Unlucky Fried Katz

  18. My intentions are fine but my morals are loose cos I sold a new album to Andrew Bruce

  19. Ray Skinner Ray Skinner is surely a winner cos he bought my new album, though it makes him a sinner

  20. Francis Innes, sometimes Frank,
    Bought 2 copies from the UFK Bank

  21. Nick and Jilly bought a disc. They knew the perils but they took the risk

  22. James Hitch promptly paid the price
    I hope he finds the album nice

  23. Julian Page is a wise old sage. Unlucky Fried Kitten are all the RAGE

  24. Paul Johnston kindly bought an edition.
    Of Unlucky Fried Kitten of his own volition

  25. Michael Coffey has paid his money
    I hope he thinks the songs are funny

  26. Nick Roper made a choice today
    To pay £5 for some UFK

  27. Congratulations Gary Matcham
    He likes cool bands and he knows how to catch 'em

  28. My little album will be travelling far
    Jim Rennie bought one for his car

  29. Thank you Lee Palmer for making me calmer by buying my album thus averting the drama

  30. Hey Kissi Wilkins thanks muchly for buying
    My songs aren't the greatest but at least I keep trying

  31. James Palmer, cheers dude for playing it probberly
    I hope you don't think it was daylight robbery
    (I always spell pobberly like that)

  32. Fanx Karen Rennie for the 500 pennie(s)
    I'm struggling for a rhyme here, I can't think of many

  33. Sue Moore bought a copy of Unlucky Fried Kitten
    When she hears the new songs I hope she'll be smitten

  34. Phil Dillon got in quick making musical headway and soon the new album will land there in Medway

  35. Jo Ray, well what can I say?
    She's the latest top follower of the new UFK

  36. He drives a big taxi and sometimes he waves. He has got UFK now, that's Brian Graves

  37. Emma Wright is outa sight cos she bought the unlucky fried kitten tonight

  38. Kevin Kevin Kevin Spice bought UFK and that's quite nice. I hope he likes my little ditties and I'm sending big love from the fried up kitties

  39. Chris Broderick parted with 500 coins, he's the cool singer from The Singing Loins. If you haven't heard of his particular band check them on YouTube, they are fricking grand

  40. Herr Henner Formulica Post, is a buyer from Germany and now he can boast, that he has the new album from UFK, and he's loading it up and he's about to press 'play'

  41. Mister Lansbury, my pal called Tony, always happy never moany, buys my album in the pub, welcome to my pop-punk club. He paid the money, he made his choice, I hope he likes my wonderful voice

  42. Jeff and Tina are in the zone
    I think they will love my dulcet tone

  43. Sue Gray bought UFK and it's ok to be happy today
    The album shines, the cover glistens I hope she likes it when she listens

  44. John Edwards as I live and breathe
    Oh what a tangled web we weave
    He's a great host and he plays his guitar
    Sometimes we play it in the bar
    He told me he only bought the CD
    To get a mention on this blog, you see
    For this very reason, my UFK lovers
    His poem is longer than the others
    Your rhyme is here, John, just take a look
    Buy a box and I'll write a fkn book x

  45. Emma Rennie, thanks for buying
    I hope it doesn't leave you crying
    If it does, just wipe your tears
    Play it again with a few strong beers

  46. Francis Innes bought some MORE
    He now has UFK GALORE

  47. Sylvie Fantomas Caliot liked what she saw so she bought the lot (well, almost)

  48. Now that the album is at large
    Nick Hughes will play it on his barge
    As he hears the water lapping
    He'll witness the drum-track gently clapping
    Nick, of course, played live so often
    With UFK and his brain did soften
    Always there through rain or shine
    Forever friend of thee and thine xx

  49. Chris Crader, atomic raider, bought the kitten and then he played 'er
    I hope he thinks I'm a musical man
    (though I'll never rival his boys 'Japan')

  50. Susan Ingle bought the single
    Although it is an album
    I was struggling with a rhyme you see
    And now I'm struggling even more...and I'm not even getting the rhythm right and it's like I've tried to cram too much into the last line of the limerick

  51. Dawn Dunleavy, thankyou, hey, for making the purchase of UFK. I hope you'll like it but if not please don't...ask me to refund because I won't. :)

  52. Francis Innes bought more for friends
    His faith in this universe never ends

  53. Phil Parfitt has a kitten master
    I hope it's not a perfect disaster

  54. Alan Witt, just so you know, played guitar in the band many moons ago. His style was cool, like a phantom menace, oh, and the band were then called Death In Venice. Anyway, we are up to date, cd is in the post, that's great

  55. Lucia McKnight is outa sight and she bought an album just last night. It was actually a few nights ago, but that wouldn't rhyme so there ya go

  56. Carl Glover has an album for certain, bought as a gift from Lawrence Burton. It's nice when people spread the glee so thanks for sharing, Mister B

  57. Robert Dellar, lovely fella, I don't know him, I'm just the seller. Another gift from Lawrence B, to spread the music and I'm grateful, me

  58. Dean Andrews' list of his favourite bands
    Written down with his own fair hands
    Number one is Guns 'n' Roses
    Wicked choice there, one supposes
    Nirvana sits in second spot
    He worships Kurt Cobain a lot
    Metallica at number three
    Great band, bit heavy though, for me
    Number four we have Pearl Jam
    Eddie Vedder his sacred lamb
    At number five we sit there proud
    Unlucky Fried Kitten, play it LOUD
    (cheers Deano, proud to be the only Brit band in your top 5) x

  59. Isla Fraser, joins the room
    With UFK in glorious bloom

  60. Ashley Pearson gives the cash
    To get the album, thank you Ash

  61. Callum Edward Lindsay Pope
    Without the album he couldn't cope
    Of course, I am exaggerating
    I hope he finds it exhilarating

  62. Bestest wishes to Jeanne Fraser
    UFK songs could well amaze 'er

  63. Jo Banfield in the taxi den
    Bought the new album (plus the old one, again)

  64. A CD goes to Ashley K
    Now he'll hear it, come what may
    Will he like it? There's no telling
    For now I'll just go right on selling

  65. Rich Clark Rich Clark
    So good they named him twice
    He kindly bought an album
    And I'm pleased he paid the price

  66. Mark Matthews was a Dentist
    He plays the bass so grand
    Oh, he wasn't an expert in molars
    The Dentists were a band
    I often bought their albums
    Back in those halcyon days
    Now he's bought my album
    Hope he likes it when it plays

  67. Michael Linton thank you mate
    I hope you find the album great

  68. Lewis Cornwell
    Rings a bell
    Bought some UFK as well

  69. M&M'r Cathy King
    Bought an album in the spring

  70. UFK purchase is often quite tricky but that didn't stop the likes of Nicci (Holdstock) from diving in deeply to the UFK pool, though she's seen UFK loads of times so she's nobody's fool x

  71. Ben Copland has a copy
    I hope he plays it wildly
    He did mix all the vocals
    So it's valid, to put it mildly

  72. Sue Morbi is a fan of the Star Wars kinda thing
    I'm sure that kind of happiness Unlucky Fried Kitten cannot bring
    But if she plays it once or twice she might just see a new dimension
    May the 4th be with you dear, purchased today, did I not mention?

  73. Sarah Sarah Sarah Hodge, delivered an album to your lodge
    On the maddening side of town
    Letter box was duly flapped
    Money in envelope entrapped
    I hope the album fits the bill
    Play it loud at your own free will
    UFK is an elitist club
    See ya soon mate, in the pub

  74. Chris Redmond ex-guitarist and a Los Angeles dwelling menace
    Played axe in my 80's, 90's band entitled Death In Venice
    Now he has the UFK which I've posted to the States
    He went back many years ago but we are still creative mates

  75. Some people like the music madly
    A copy goes to Laura Bradley
    Arkansas is her domain
    Let's play that rocking thing again

  76. Great review...happy with this:

    1. Not linking...will put it into blog

  77. Miss Morrissey Shelton, Yasmin girl
    Owns some UFK as well
    Her musical taste is rather fine
    God only knows what she'll make of mine

  78. Kari Da, what a star, bought an album from afar
    Will she like it? Will she fault it?
    Doesn't matter now, she bought it

  79. Mister Rotherham, David to you
    Lives in Jersey, what a stew
    Sounds idyllic, his local area
    But UFK will make it scarier

  80. Anonymous bought one
    Didn't catch the name
    Oh well, another copy sold all the same

  81. Gary Baxter bought a copy of this album in this town
    When he plays it I hope he says it is an album he can't put down

  82. Jon Burt, to be curt, bought the album, that's a dead cert

  83. Ben Jones, a minstrel and troubadour
    Bought the album, to be sure
    Now that my songs have reached fruition
    I hope he likes his acquisition

  84. This comment has been removed by the author.

  85. Aha, Glenn Prangnell, video-master
    Has bought one for his ghetto-blaster

  86. Kevin Hanney made a choice, to pay the cash to hear my voice
    I hope he feels he's not made an error
    As he sits and listens in abject terror

  87. This is a rhyme for Gary & Anna
    They purchased a copy to send off the manor
    To some friends down in Devon (or somewhere out West)
    Thanks for sharing my album
    I'm completely impressed

  88. Roger Stevens (a Killer Rabbit)
    Saw the album and had to grabbit
    He said some of the songs he likes quite a lot
    So I hope he is happy with what he's got
    It's always a boost when another musician
    Gets hold of your album, it's like a tradition
    I'm happy to be there upon his shelf
    Happy days, good luck, good health

    1. Each and every track doth please
      'Tis the bees bollocks and the donkey's knees.

  89. Derek Chandler, sound engineer
    Sound in person and sound in career
    Buys an album, UFK
    Inserts the disc and presses 'play'

  90. Nicky, in Lashings, bought a copy as well
    I don't know if Nicky is a boy or a girl
    I found Nicky's messages wrote in my journal
    He/She now has my album , that's pretty eternal
    There's also a phone number saying I should ring
    Maybe he/she wants to write or to sing
    Whatever, I won't make that calle, you see
    There's a good chance that 'Nicky' was drunker than me

  91. Another report in my diary shows
    That another dude purchased bu the person? Who knows?
    'Lion of Kent' is the FaceBook page
    (shouldn't a lion be kept in a cage?)

  92. An album goes to Christy-Lee
    (that's Christy-Lee Pollard to you and me)
    She's a luvverly girl, she is nice as can be
    I'm grateful she talks to an old grump like me

  93. Paul Woodard
    Knight of the road
    Eccentric master of the Highway Code
    Paul Woodard
    Beatnick and brave
    Incredible guy in the proverbial rave
    Paul Woodard
    It was quite a wait but you got the album
    Cheers mate

  94. Chris Tong
    Fan of the song
    I hope he finds it
    Right not wrong

  95. Sue Coxon, hi, thanks for the leap of faith
    I hope you keep that album safe
    It's really nice of you to buy
    I guess you thought it was worth a try
    If you don't like my little songs
    It doesn't mean the world's gone wrong
    I'm sure you'll find another way
    To use it, can I suggest an ashtray
    Or a frisbee, some earrings, a coaster or mat
    Or maybe a vanity mirror for a cat
    You could buy some materials to make a clock
    Minute hand second hand, battery, tick tock
    Make some cool glasses, (buy another one first)
    A bit like Lennon's but in reverse
    Melt it burn it sell it whatever
    I hope this album will last forever
    At the end of the day, when the sky is black
    I will guarantee your money back

  96. Tanya Baines, beauty with brains, crazy zebras in troublesome lanes but she often helps me make some sense of this mental world (in a moderate sense)

  97. Lisa Jane or LJB as she's known to us, you, them and me
    She wants to hear my stuff she thinks
    As long as I don't cover The Kinks
    There will be no trouble, there will be no pain
    I won't dismantle The Kinks again

  98. Samuel Jacques plays guitar
    Wears a hat, superstar
    Bought my album in the pub
    Banging tunes, in da club
    Samuel also bangs the drums
    Fingers, sticks, snares and thumbs
    He's played my stuff along the way
    An honorary member of UFK
    I hope he likes the current stock
    Of UFK songs, ha, PUNK ROCK!!!!!

  99. Matt Evans, forgot to add him to the blog
    I blame it on workloads and heavy slog
    But here is his poem for buying my disc
    He paid his money and he took the risk
    I hope it has made him content with my ware
    Or perhaps he is lain in a gutter somewhere
    Destroyed through the torture of my harrowing vocal
    I might not be great...but at least I am local

    1. 'Rage Against' duly bought
      I parted with a 'Lady'
      Contents exactly what I thought
      Lyrically sound but musically shady!

    2. ha ha, nice reply with unenviable wit
      but you paid with the paper so you're lumbered with it

  100. Man outside pub, The Old House At Home
    Bought a cd and took it back to his home
    Don't know if he played it, not sure of his name
    I'll just never know now, all part of the game

  101. Clairey thanks for your recent buy
    I hope you enjoy the work of this guy
    Sometimes dark and sometimes funny
    Possibly a waste of money
    But nothing ventured, nothing gained
    and things that work are sometimes pained
    If you don't like the songs and that
    just use the disc as a cool beer-mat

  102. Random stranger bought the thing
    On which I try my best to sing

  103. Little Mouse Books, thanks for your order
    of songs presented in much disorder
    Silly to rhyme order with disorder really
    but I'm running out of rhymes, quite clearly

    1. Little mouse loves a ditty,
      and yours kind sir,
      are rather witty!

  104. Someone random in a pub bought my latest ditties
    Now he has some UFK it's getting on his titties

  105. You're the Dandy Highwayman that we're too scared to mention
    I'm glad today that UFK is grabbing your attention
    The Devil take your stereo and your record collection
    You're listening to my music so your ears might need attention

  106. Another random guy in pub has purchased a cd
    Thanks, forever nameless, and I hope it sets you free

  107. Neil Nixon bought an album, he's a writer, I have his book
    Perhaps I'll post a photo and you can take a look

  108. Random folk in London at a Morrissey show, now have an album, UFK, mind how you go

  109. I passed some time with the lovely Neville
    He bought an album, the handsome devil

  110. At a UFK Show I was 'keeping it real' and I sold a copy to Russell Deal x

  111. The album was sold to Stacey Dunk
    I hope he enjoys my pure pop-punk

  112. Steve Potter bought the album
    I hope he enjoys
    Hearing the Kitten
    With his musical toys

  113. Paul Starks
    Top Marks
    Bought a copy
    of my Skylarks

  114. Random people at my last show
    Bought the album, their names I don't know
    That's a shame that I didn't know 'em
    But here is their conglomerate poem

  115. A girl called Rio
    In the Cherry Tree
    Bought a copy
    Direct from me
    I'm pleased that girl
    Took the risk
    and she bought a copy of my other disc