Track List
- The Seventies
- Alice Glass (she's my best friend)
- CJD
- Shop in The Precinct
- The Horror at the Belvedere Hotel
- Rage Against Florence + the Machine
- Little Things That Happen All The Time
- Piano Lessons Are Cancelled for Mary-Jane
- Hello Richie
- Welcome To Gravesend
- A Snapshot of Life
- My Ridiculous Neighbour
So, this is the new Unlucky Fried Kitten album entitled RAGE AGAINST FLORENCE + THE MACHINE. Here's how to get it. You can go to my PayPal button at the start of this blog (an earlier post) and just pay £5.00 which will include post and packing. Or I can just give you my e-mail for my PayPal and do it that way. £5.00 is not a great deal of money (see my list below for things you can get for £5.00) For anyone purchasing in the Maidstone and Medway area it'll just be free delivery by hand, put through your letterbox. Instead of post and packaging it will be petrol and packaging. You get me?
Just look at it like I am playing Santa, but with a CD, and instead of a sleigh I am careering around Kent in a Sierra Azura. If you haven't got PayPal just pay me a fiver when I deliver
Things You Can Buy For £5.00
- 1.25 pints of premium lager
- 5 x Twin-Pack Mars Bar Duo Bar (85g)
- 1.89% of a 15w energy bulb
- A signed copy of Katie Price's new autobiography
- A hamster wheel
- I'm bored now
As an added incentive to make you buy this ground-breaking concept album (the concept being that I made it and you buy it) evey purchaser...yes...EACH & EVERY PURCHASER will be featured in a song on the NEXT album. How big your mention is depends on how many albums I sell. If I sell 50 to 60 copies, as estimated, you'll probably get an entire line in the song. If I sell about 5 copies you'll more than likely get your own verse. I've sold ONE copy so far, so, as it stands, that purchaser, if I sell no more, will have a whole song about him. (though my Mum did say she's gonna buy a copy)
All buyers get listed on this blog too, with some wacky line written for them. You know, something like, if I was the buyer it might be something like 'Andy Fraser...the atomic Laser' and if, say, Jeremy Kyle buys one, it might be 'Jeremy Kyle...play the album and smile' You got me?
That's about it really except for a few tech notes about the album.
- all music by myself
- all lyrics by myself
- music recorded at Strangeways
- Live vocal done at The Hub, (which is Ben Copland's studio...him behind fab electronica band Mooli)
- Oh yeah, forgot to say, vocal was recorded in one live take cos I wanted it to come across as I would do it live. That's why the tracks all run into one cos I wanted it to be like a live show where my songs are usually met with, not wild applause but usually, a deafening wall of bewilderment and silence.
- my photos but art/covers arranged by Graham Semark
- CD
duplificated , duplified, duplimacated, copied at Cyclone in Medway City Estate
I'll be making one more album which I'm half way through writing and it will be available in a few months. Then that's it. Not even gonna write any more songs. Getting rid of all my gear and buying my own little log-cabin. Throwing all my songbooks away, maybe into the river, from a bridge, to be like David Essex throwing his school-books away in Stardust. Or was it in That'll Be The Day?
That's it then, fab people. I don't think I've missed anything. I'll be ruthlessly honest now...if I can sell 100 copies of this album I'll be a happy bunny
Probberly a French Angora
No, let's make it a German Dwarf Lop...they are so cute
I always spell probably like that...for comic effect
I hope the PayPal button works...let me know if there are any difficulties.
Don't forget that you can revisit this blog at any time to laugh at the low amount of CD's I've sold...3 or 4 lonely little names with their own wacky little one-liners. Sad...but with an air of ironic juvenile elitism
Oh, and I might add the lyrics to this blog...if anyone can be bothered to request it
Cheers
See ya
Unlucky Fried Kitten
xxx - Oh...one more thing...don't forget that the 'UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN PRESENT LOSERVILLE.COM' album is still available for the same remarkable price of £5.00 including postage and whatsnaming
Here's a wonderful review from Lawrence Burton who lives in Texas. We met in the 80's as he explains in the review. I love the review, not just because it flatters my little creation, but also for it's majestic writing style
http://thefatoldman.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/ufk-rage-against-florence-machine-2015.html
Ann Morgan Ann Morgan, mythological Gorgon
ReplyDeleteMark Woodroffe-Hill he's the Cool on the Hill and he speaks of The Hammers with their footballing skill(s)
ReplyDeleteIn a world filled with prisms and various hues I have sold a cd to film-maker Josh Hughes
ReplyDeleteJiffy Bags bulging with songs what I wrote and I'm sending a copy to Mr Rew Oate(s)
ReplyDeleteCliff Etherington ordered Unlucky Fried Kitten and I'm packing it up by my own fair mitten
ReplyDeleteAnn Morgan bought 4 so I'm naming her frice, thanks for the support, it's exceedingly nice
ReplyDeleteGreat support from Lawrence Burton in Texas behind the American Curtain
ReplyDeletePaul Taylor Paul Taylor I'm posting his copy in a Bradfordian Mailer
ReplyDeletePosting to Wales seems completely insane, but it's travelling fast to Ann Morgan (again)
ReplyDeletePaul Wicks in Park Wood, that's a lot of PW's your album is coming and I hope it don't trouble you
ReplyDeleteMister Paul Woodard, as I live and breathe, thanks for support, see you soon, I believe
ReplyDeleteAnn Morgan Ann Morgan, she tinkles the organ ;)
ReplyDeleteJust a quick message to Paul Martin Gibbons, your Jiffy Bag will be covered in ribbons
ReplyDeletea notification from the esteemed Hans Newbould reveals that he has paid me in currency of gold
ReplyDeleteLouise May was nice and she bought a CD, I hope she's ok with songs written by me
ReplyDeleteMark Woodroffe-Hill bought another new copy, I hope that he likes it and doesn't get stroppy
ReplyDeletePaul Wratten, our landlord, though we call him Rats, has bought a new album by the Unlucky Fried Katz
ReplyDeleteMy intentions are fine but my morals are loose cos I sold a new album to Andrew Bruce
ReplyDeleteRay Skinner Ray Skinner is surely a winner cos he bought my new album, though it makes him a sinner
ReplyDeleteFrancis Innes, sometimes Frank,
ReplyDeleteBought 2 copies from the UFK Bank
Nick and Jilly bought a disc. They knew the perils but they took the risk
ReplyDeleteJames Hitch promptly paid the price
ReplyDeleteI hope he finds the album nice
Julian Page is a wise old sage. Unlucky Fried Kitten are all the RAGE
ReplyDeletePaul Johnston kindly bought an edition.
ReplyDeleteOf Unlucky Fried Kitten of his own volition
Michael Coffey has paid his money
ReplyDeleteI hope he thinks the songs are funny
Nick Roper made a choice today
ReplyDeleteTo pay £5 for some UFK
Congratulations Gary Matcham
ReplyDeleteHe likes cool bands and he knows how to catch 'em
My little album will be travelling far
ReplyDeleteJim Rennie bought one for his car
Thank you Lee Palmer for making me calmer by buying my album thus averting the drama
ReplyDeleteHey Kissi Wilkins thanks muchly for buying
ReplyDeleteMy songs aren't the greatest but at least I keep trying
James Palmer, cheers dude for playing it probberly
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't think it was daylight robbery
(I always spell pobberly like that)
Fanx Karen Rennie for the 500 pennie(s)
ReplyDeleteI'm struggling for a rhyme here, I can't think of many
Sue Moore bought a copy of Unlucky Fried Kitten
ReplyDeleteWhen she hears the new songs I hope she'll be smitten
Phil Dillon got in quick making musical headway and soon the new album will land there in Medway
ReplyDeleteJo Ray, well what can I say?
ReplyDeleteShe's the latest top follower of the new UFK
He drives a big taxi and sometimes he waves. He has got UFK now, that's Brian Graves
ReplyDeleteEmma Wright is outa sight cos she bought the unlucky fried kitten tonight
ReplyDeleteKevin Kevin Kevin Spice bought UFK and that's quite nice. I hope he likes my little ditties and I'm sending big love from the fried up kitties
ReplyDeleteChris Broderick parted with 500 coins, he's the cool singer from The Singing Loins. If you haven't heard of his particular band check them on YouTube, they are fricking grand
ReplyDeleteHerr Henner Formulica Post, is a buyer from Germany and now he can boast, that he has the new album from UFK, and he's loading it up and he's about to press 'play'
ReplyDeleteMister Lansbury, my pal called Tony, always happy never moany, buys my album in the pub, welcome to my pop-punk club. He paid the money, he made his choice, I hope he likes my wonderful voice
ReplyDeleteJeff and Tina are in the zone
ReplyDeleteI think they will love my dulcet tone
Sue Gray bought UFK and it's ok to be happy today
ReplyDeleteThe album shines, the cover glistens I hope she likes it when she listens
John Edwards as I live and breathe
ReplyDeleteOh what a tangled web we weave
He's a great host and he plays his guitar
Sometimes we play it in the bar
He told me he only bought the CD
To get a mention on this blog, you see
For this very reason, my UFK lovers
His poem is longer than the others
Your rhyme is here, John, just take a look
Buy a box and I'll write a fkn book x
Emma Rennie, thanks for buying
ReplyDeleteI hope it doesn't leave you crying
If it does, just wipe your tears
Play it again with a few strong beers
Francis Innes bought some MORE
ReplyDeleteHe now has UFK GALORE
Sylvie Fantomas Caliot liked what she saw so she bought the lot (well, almost)
ReplyDeleteNow that the album is at large
ReplyDeleteNick Hughes will play it on his barge
As he hears the water lapping
He'll witness the drum-track gently clapping
Nick, of course, played live so often
With UFK and his brain did soften
Always there through rain or shine
Forever friend of thee and thine xx
Chris Crader, atomic raider, bought the kitten and then he played 'er
ReplyDeleteI hope he thinks I'm a musical man
(though I'll never rival his boys 'Japan')
Susan Ingle bought the single
ReplyDeleteAlthough it is an album
I was struggling with a rhyme you see
And now I'm struggling even more...and I'm not even getting the rhythm right and it's like I've tried to cram too much into the last line of the limerick
Dawn Dunleavy, thankyou, hey, for making the purchase of UFK. I hope you'll like it but if not please don't...ask me to refund because I won't. :)
ReplyDeleteFrancis Innes bought more for friends
ReplyDeleteHis faith in this universe never ends
Phil Parfitt has a kitten master
ReplyDeleteI hope it's not a perfect disaster
Alan Witt, just so you know, played guitar in the band many moons ago. His style was cool, like a phantom menace, oh, and the band were then called Death In Venice. Anyway, we are up to date, cd is in the post, that's great
ReplyDeleteLucia McKnight is outa sight and she bought an album just last night. It was actually a few nights ago, but that wouldn't rhyme so there ya go
ReplyDeleteCarl Glover has an album for certain, bought as a gift from Lawrence Burton. It's nice when people spread the glee so thanks for sharing, Mister B
ReplyDeleteRobert Dellar, lovely fella, I don't know him, I'm just the seller. Another gift from Lawrence B, to spread the music and I'm grateful, me
ReplyDeleteDean Andrews' list of his favourite bands
ReplyDeleteWritten down with his own fair hands
Number one is Guns 'n' Roses
Wicked choice there, one supposes
Nirvana sits in second spot
He worships Kurt Cobain a lot
Metallica at number three
Great band, bit heavy though, for me
Number four we have Pearl Jam
Eddie Vedder his sacred lamb
At number five we sit there proud
Unlucky Fried Kitten, play it LOUD
(cheers Deano, proud to be the only Brit band in your top 5) x
Isla Fraser, joins the room
ReplyDeleteWith UFK in glorious bloom
Ashley Pearson gives the cash
ReplyDeleteTo get the album, thank you Ash
Callum Edward Lindsay Pope
ReplyDeleteWithout the album he couldn't cope
Of course, I am exaggerating
I hope he finds it exhilarating
Bestest wishes to Jeanne Fraser
ReplyDeleteUFK songs could well amaze 'er
Jo Banfield in the taxi den
ReplyDeleteBought the new album (plus the old one, again)
A CD goes to Ashley K
ReplyDeleteNow he'll hear it, come what may
Will he like it? There's no telling
For now I'll just go right on selling
Rich Clark Rich Clark
ReplyDeleteSo good they named him twice
He kindly bought an album
And I'm pleased he paid the price
Mark Matthews was a Dentist
ReplyDeleteHe plays the bass so grand
Oh, he wasn't an expert in molars
The Dentists were a band
I often bought their albums
Back in those halcyon days
Now he's bought my album
Hope he likes it when it plays
Michael Linton thank you mate
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the album great
Lewis Cornwell
ReplyDeleteRings a bell
Bought some UFK as well
M&M'r Cathy King
ReplyDeleteBought an album in the spring
UFK purchase is often quite tricky but that didn't stop the likes of Nicci (Holdstock) from diving in deeply to the UFK pool, though she's seen UFK loads of times so she's nobody's fool x
ReplyDeleteBen Copland has a copy
ReplyDeleteI hope he plays it wildly
He did mix all the vocals
So it's valid, to put it mildly
Sue Morbi is a fan of the Star Wars kinda thing
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that kind of happiness Unlucky Fried Kitten cannot bring
But if she plays it once or twice she might just see a new dimension
May the 4th be with you dear, purchased today, did I not mention?
Sarah Sarah Sarah Hodge, delivered an album to your lodge
ReplyDeleteOn the maddening side of town
Letter box was duly flapped
Money in envelope entrapped
I hope the album fits the bill
Play it loud at your own free will
UFK is an elitist club
See ya soon mate, in the pub
Chris Redmond ex-guitarist and a Los Angeles dwelling menace
ReplyDeletePlayed axe in my 80's, 90's band entitled Death In Venice
Now he has the UFK which I've posted to the States
He went back many years ago but we are still creative mates
Some people like the music madly
ReplyDeleteA copy goes to Laura Bradley
Arkansas is her domain
Let's play that rocking thing again
Great review...happy with this:
ReplyDeletehttp://thefatoldman.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/ufk-rage-against-florence-machine-2015.html
Not linking...will put it into blog
DeleteMiss Morrissey Shelton, Yasmin girl
ReplyDeleteOwns some UFK as well
Her musical taste is rather fine
God only knows what she'll make of mine
Kari Da, what a star, bought an album from afar
ReplyDeleteWill she like it? Will she fault it?
Doesn't matter now, she bought it
Mister Rotherham, David to you
ReplyDeleteLives in Jersey, what a stew
Sounds idyllic, his local area
But UFK will make it scarier
Anonymous bought one
ReplyDeleteDidn't catch the name
Oh well, another copy sold all the same
Gary Baxter bought a copy of this album in this town
ReplyDeleteWhen he plays it I hope he says it is an album he can't put down
Jon Burt, to be curt, bought the album, that's a dead cert
ReplyDeleteBen Jones, a minstrel and troubadour
ReplyDeleteBought the album, to be sure
Now that my songs have reached fruition
I hope he likes his acquisition
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAha, Glenn Prangnell, video-master
ReplyDeleteHas bought one for his ghetto-blaster
Kevin Hanney made a choice, to pay the cash to hear my voice
ReplyDeleteI hope he feels he's not made an error
As he sits and listens in abject terror
This is a rhyme for Gary & Anna
ReplyDeleteThey purchased a copy to send off the manor
To some friends down in Devon (or somewhere out West)
Thanks for sharing my album
I'm completely impressed
Loving the album mate xx
ReplyDeleteNice one, thank you xx
DeleteRoger Stevens (a Killer Rabbit)
ReplyDeleteSaw the album and had to grabbit
He said some of the songs he likes quite a lot
So I hope he is happy with what he's got
It's always a boost when another musician
Gets hold of your album, it's like a tradition
I'm happy to be there upon his shelf
Happy days, good luck, good health
Each and every track doth please
Delete'Tis the bees bollocks and the donkey's knees.
Derek Chandler, sound engineer
ReplyDeleteSound in person and sound in career
Buys an album, UFK
Inserts the disc and presses 'play'
Nicky, in Lashings, bought a copy as well
ReplyDeleteI don't know if Nicky is a boy or a girl
I found Nicky's messages wrote in my journal
He/She now has my album , that's pretty eternal
There's also a phone number saying I should ring
Maybe he/she wants to write or to sing
Whatever, I won't make that calle, you see
There's a good chance that 'Nicky' was drunker than me
Another report in my diary shows
ReplyDeleteThat another dude purchased bu the person? Who knows?
'Lion of Kent' is the FaceBook page
(shouldn't a lion be kept in a cage?)
*but
DeleteAn album goes to Christy-Lee
ReplyDelete(that's Christy-Lee Pollard to you and me)
She's a luvverly girl, she is nice as can be
I'm grateful she talks to an old grump like me
Paul Woodard
ReplyDeleteKnight of the road
Eccentric master of the Highway Code
Paul Woodard
Beatnick and brave
Incredible guy in the proverbial rave
Paul Woodard
It was quite a wait but you got the album
Cheers mate
Chris Tong
ReplyDeleteFan of the song
I hope he finds it
Right not wrong
Sue Coxon, hi, thanks for the leap of faith
ReplyDeleteI hope you keep that album safe
It's really nice of you to buy
I guess you thought it was worth a try
If you don't like my little songs
It doesn't mean the world's gone wrong
I'm sure you'll find another way
To use it, can I suggest an ashtray
Or a frisbee, some earrings, a coaster or mat
Or maybe a vanity mirror for a cat
You could buy some materials to make a clock
Minute hand second hand, battery, tick tock
Make some cool glasses, (buy another one first)
A bit like Lennon's but in reverse
Melt it burn it sell it whatever
I hope this album will last forever
At the end of the day, when the sky is black
I will guarantee your money back
Tanya Baines, beauty with brains, crazy zebras in troublesome lanes but she often helps me make some sense of this mental world (in a moderate sense)
ReplyDeleteLisa Jane or LJB as she's known to us, you, them and me
ReplyDeleteShe wants to hear my stuff she thinks
As long as I don't cover The Kinks
There will be no trouble, there will be no pain
I won't dismantle The Kinks again
Samuel Jacques plays guitar
ReplyDeleteWears a hat, superstar
Bought my album in the pub
Banging tunes, in da club
Samuel also bangs the drums
Fingers, sticks, snares and thumbs
He's played my stuff along the way
An honorary member of UFK
I hope he likes the current stock
Of UFK songs, ha, PUNK ROCK!!!!!
Matt Evans, forgot to add him to the blog
ReplyDeleteI blame it on workloads and heavy slog
But here is his poem for buying my disc
He paid his money and he took the risk
I hope it has made him content with my ware
Or perhaps he is lain in a gutter somewhere
Destroyed through the torture of my harrowing vocal
I might not be great...but at least I am local
'Rage Against' duly bought
DeleteI parted with a 'Lady'
Contents exactly what I thought
Lyrically sound but musically shady!
ha ha, nice reply with unenviable wit
Deletebut you paid with the paper so you're lumbered with it
Man outside pub, The Old House At Home
ReplyDeleteBought a cd and took it back to his home
Don't know if he played it, not sure of his name
I'll just never know now, all part of the game
Clairey thanks for your recent buy
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoy the work of this guy
Sometimes dark and sometimes funny
Possibly a waste of money
But nothing ventured, nothing gained
and things that work are sometimes pained
If you don't like the songs and that
just use the disc as a cool beer-mat
Random stranger bought the thing
ReplyDeleteOn which I try my best to sing
Little Mouse Books, thanks for your order
ReplyDeleteof songs presented in much disorder
Silly to rhyme order with disorder really
but I'm running out of rhymes, quite clearly
Little mouse loves a ditty,
Deleteand yours kind sir,
are rather witty!
Someone random in a pub bought my latest ditties
ReplyDeleteNow he has some UFK it's getting on his titties
You're the Dandy Highwayman that we're too scared to mention
ReplyDeleteI'm glad today that UFK is grabbing your attention
The Devil take your stereo and your record collection
You're listening to my music so your ears might need attention
Another random guy in pub has purchased a cd
ReplyDeleteThanks, forever nameless, and I hope it sets you free
Neil Nixon bought an album, he's a writer, I have his book
ReplyDeletePerhaps I'll post a photo and you can take a look
Random folk in London at a Morrissey show, now have an album, UFK, mind how you go
ReplyDeleteI passed some time with the lovely Neville
ReplyDeleteHe bought an album, the handsome devil
At a UFK Show I was 'keeping it real' and I sold a copy to Russell Deal x
ReplyDeleteThe album was sold to Stacey Dunk
ReplyDeleteI hope he enjoys my pure pop-punk
Steve Potter bought the album
ReplyDeleteI hope he enjoys
Hearing the Kitten
With his musical toys
Paul Starks
ReplyDeleteTop Marks
Bought a copy
of my Skylarks
Random people at my last show
ReplyDeleteBought the album, their names I don't know
That's a shame that I didn't know 'em
But here is their conglomerate poem
A girl called Rio
ReplyDeleteIn the Cherry Tree
Bought a copy
Direct from me
I'm pleased that girl
Took the risk
and she bought a copy of my other disc